Ground Hog Day

Is every day the same for you? Are you single and desiring love in your life, yet every day you see the same types of people? Do you experience the same conversation only with different people? Do you have the same disappointing outcome each time you socialise? Are you repeatedly asking ‘where are all the good ones hiding?’. If this is you, then I encourage you to make a change.

All too often I hear this story. People telling me it isn’t them that is the problem but the lack of opportunities to meet suitable people. Yet when presented with suitable people, there is always something wrong with them. They don’t believe these people are suitable. They are looking for someone better. These same people would (if I gave them the chance) spend hours sharing a very well rehearsed story, the same story each time, that they are simply looking for an equal and cant find anyone they consider an equal. That this man or this woman is not their equal and that this person has …. (fill in the blank) wrong with them. This person is so attached and stuck in their victim story that I believe I will be hearing the same story from them in ten years time. Sadly I have already heard the same story told to me from the same people 3 or even 4 years apart. These people have wasted 4 years by being so attached to their victim story that they are continuing setting themself up to prove themself right. Their story protects them from having to look in the mirror and see what is truly there.

OK so it is hard to look in the mirror and identify something about yourself that is displeasing. It can be painful and very frightening owning something negative about yourself. Yet, this is one of the most important steps you can take to start to experience a different outcome. By looking in the mirror and considering what could be done differently, you are on your way to achieving what you have never achieved before.

It could be that you have unrealistic expectations of a fantasy person who does not exist. If you don’t change this thinking, you will be single forever (which is fine if this is what you want). It could be you need to deal with ageism where you find it difficult to be attracted to someone your own age and so desiring to meet a partner 15 or 20 years younger is making it extremely difficult to find happiness. Or you need to look at what you truly are bringing to the table in a potential relationship where you believe you are such a great prize that everyone should want to have you as a partner and yet the reality is you are not in demand. It could be that you are not projecting a warm connective energy that has others feeling safe in your company therefore blocking the chance of engaging with new and interesting people. It could be that you are projecting only a sexual energy that is not enabling you to have a heartfelt connection with another. It could be that you are feeling unlovable or unworthy and so you are demonstrating self sabotaging behaviour that proves you right and unlovable therefore denying you the chance to have a relationship. It could be that you are protecting your heart from being hurt again and so you are projecting out an arrogance and hardness that only attracts the game players to you and again denies you the chance to connect successfully with another. It could be your fear of failure that has you only see unsuitable partners to protect you from finding someone suitable and then having the relationship fail. It could be that you are seeing only those who you believe are beneath you socially as you desire a partner to validate your social success to the world. It could be that you are looking for a partner to make you feel complete when what is missing is you giving yourself the love you need to complete yourself as no-one will ever be able to complete you, only you complete you.

There are so many reasons to stop and look in the mirror. We all have so much to learn about our self and it is often through relationships or lack of relationships that we learn the most valuable and helpful stuff to make us happy. Start by being brave and being honest with yourself. If you cant own your own stuff then any relationship you have is going to be one that is destined to have a lot of problems in it.

Be brave, look at the person in the mirror. Own what is potentially not working for you. Take the time to reframe your thinking. Step into the now realising that the past is the past and does not need to be the future. If you change your thinking, you change your energy. If you change your energy your change how the world sees you. If you change how the world sees you, you change what is attracted to you. If you change what is attracted to you, you get a different result. Bingo! It’s no longer ground hog day.

Enjoy this day as the unique moment it is. Make the change to enable you to create the day your desire. One that is different from yesterday.

Yours in love

Jane, Social 8 Adelaide


Expectations, are yours being met?

Expectations are such a powerful thing and I see the power of this being played out every night at our Social 8 dinners. The feedback we get each morning following a dinner is fascinating to read. Who has enjoyed the dinners, who has enjoyed particular members and sometimes who has had a disappointing night. The one consistent fact through all the years and piles of feedback we have received is, what you truly expect (not hope for or not hope for but expect)  is exactly what you will get.

Last night, as normal, we had several more dinners occurring. At one of the dinners 5 of the attending members had a terrific time topped off with some requests to swap phone numbers with other members. It was the 6th member that once again highlighted the deliverance of expectation. She told me prior to the dinner she wasn’t expecting much but was giving it a go. I cautioned her on her attitude and encouraged her to raise the bar. To focus on a positive outcome. To focus on a great night, meeting interesting people and having a lot of fun. He final words were, that would be nice but I don’t expect that. Not surprisingly this morning her feedback was that it wasn’t a good night for her. She received in full her total expectation.

I cannot emphasise enough the power you have to create your own reality. Watch what you expect and see how you get. You will receive your expectation every single time bar none. If you take the time to set your intent to be a positive experience, that is what shall be delivered each and every time regardless of what you are desiring. If you set your intent to be a negative experience, then that too shall become your reality. You create your reality. Not someone else. Not the person next to you or the previous experience. This one. Right here, right now.

 Take the time to really visualise that which you are desiring. If you find yourself becoming negative, take the time to reach for a better feeling thought. You own your thoughts. No-one else can make you feel or think anything. Only you. You manifest your expectations so get fired up with excitement at this ability. Use it in your everyday life. Not just for socialising and reap the rewards. It is all waiting there for you to experience. Dream it up, get excited and go experience it. You are so powerful in your creations and so make these creations and expectations big and glorious and magnificent.

 Have a divine day

 Yours in love, Jane

Look very closely at your words to know what you bring into your life

I met a lady yesterday who shared her story with me of a man she really likes and had dated him a few times however she was worried he really wasn’t that keen on her. She was asking me my opinion. I asked her if she really wanted this man in her life seriously or just for fun? She was really keen and said she wanted a relationship with him. I asked her if she really meant this and was she really feeling this to which she replied yes.

I explained the universal law of attraction, that like ALWAYS attracts like. Many people believe you can ask for what you want and get it, however you really have to feel and truly believe this before it would happen. As I spoke further to her about tools she could implement to create the real belief system to attract a man who is serious, she kept repeating she wanted this man. After a long conversation she said these few tiny words which told me exactly why she had attracted this particular man into her life. And those words were… but it all seems too hard. This one tiny statement told me volumes about her true belief system. She really couldn’t be bothered and wanted the perfect relationship if it was easy. Since she couldn’t be bothered too much, she attracted a man into her life who also couldn’t be bothered too much. He would contact her every few weeks and after a nice night out would be wishy washy with any commitment to a future date.

So how could she change this? By making the effort to ensure she truly believed and desired and felt that she was ready to have this serious relationship. She had to be prepared to feel the fullness of this relationship with no counter resistant thoughts. Then a man who was matching her true emotional desire would appear in her life.

If this is a familiar story to you, please take real time to watch your words. Ensure you thoughts, your words and your feelings are all in alignment. Stay focused on the positive and watch the universe delivery to you your perfect match for that which you are truly desiring. The universe makes no mistakes. It is science that cannot be undone. You shall recieve every desire that is believed, both the good and the bad. Work on it and attract the good into your life that you desire for and are very worthy of! 

Have a divine day

Yours in love, Jane

Do you keep attracting the wrong people?

What you believe about yourself is what you’ll attract to yourself. If you believe that you are a person who deserves to be treated well by others, you’ll attract kindness. If you believe you’re not really worthy of being treated well, you’ll attract people who will harm you.

Break the negative relationship cycle and attract the love you deserve.

By Michelle Vasquez

Think about your past relationships.

Were they positive or negative experiences? If they were negative, think about what you believed about yourself at the time.

Did you stay in an abusive situation because you thought you would never find someone else?

Did you keep telling yourself that maybe things would change for the better?

Did you convince yourself that you weren’t important enough to express your opinions? Were you afraid to?

Did you believe it wasn’t so bad?

Did you stay because the sex was good, even though you fought constantly otherwise, convincing yourself that it was love?

Did you feel like you couldn’t live without that person?

I challenge you to examine your beliefs. The beliefs you hold about yourself are the keys to why you may be attracting the wrong kind of person. Dig deep and look at your beliefs. Maybe it’s time to do some spring cleaning and get rid of the negative thoughts that have held you back from finding the love of your life.

Do this exercise to look at what you are attracting

Think of all of your past relationships. Use one piece of paper (more if needed) for each person. Put each person’s name at the top of the paper and list the following:

How did you meet?

How long did you know each other before you were intimate?

What did you used to argue about most frequently?

Personality traits (yours and your former partner’s)

Problem behaviors (addictions, infidelities, jealousy, violent behaviors, etc.)

There are many more things you could write, of course, but this will get you started. After you’ve finished writing, compare the relationships. Notice what you were attracting. Notice the similarities and differences. Chances are, you will find you have behaved similarly and attracted similar people each time. This is powerful because once you identify what you’ve been doing, you can change it. You may need to consult with a relationship coach or counselor to help you change these patterns. But you’ve already started to change the pattern just by acknowledging it. I wish you the best of success in attracting the relationship you want into your life!

About the author: Michelle E. Vasquez is a Relationship Coach and a Licensed Professional Counselor in Huntington Beach, CA. For her free report to help you find the one, visit

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 Have a divine day

Yours in love, Jane, Social 8 Adelaide

Do you want commitment from a partner?

Then my big question to you is are you able to commit? It is common for people to share with me they want someone who can commit to the relationship and to each other. This is particularly common if someone has been left in a relationship in their past. Yet so often I see the very same people who are desiring this in a partner, not demonstrate their ability to commit. 

The ability to commitment can be demonstrated in many small ways. Indicators that someone is a person of their word. Someone who phones when they say they will, who honours and commitment to do something when they say they will, someone who when given an opportunity sees it thru.

If you are someone who says one thing and does another, then perhaps you are not putting out there your ability to commit. Commitment can sometimes be perceived as reliability or trustworthiness. While these are three separate qualities. the lines become blurred easily. If you desire commitment, reliability or trustworthiness in a relationship, be it with a partner, a friend, a child, a family member or a co-worker, then take a moment to see if you are being that which you desire.

You will only attract into your life that which you are. If you find that perhaps you have developed some habits that are preventing you from demonstrating these qualities, then take the time to become consciously aware of these moments. Be who you say you want to be. Honour your word. Be the person you desire in another and watch the world change for you. If this is you, then the chances are you are attracting those into your life who are not phoning when they said they would. Or who are cancelling dates or social occasions after committing to them. Or they are letting you down in a million tiny ways. You may even find yourself starting to believe that no-one around you is reliable or trustworthy or committed. This is the mirror being held up to how you are behaving. As you become aware of your actions, you can make the changes needed to become the person you desire to be. You will start to attract into your life those who are reliable. Those who are trustworthy and those who are committed. And once again, the world becomes the kind of place you want to be a part of.

As one of my favourite entertainers Michael Jackson said, ‘Look at the man in the mirror and make that change’.

Have a divine day

yours in love, Jane